Thursday, March 24, 2011


By Elliott Joseph
Copyright 2011 Elliott Joseph
April 2011

I have several ways to exercise.

It's a serious endeavor, because everything I read about exercise says it is good for you. I do not like to exercise, no matter how healthy it's supposed to be.

I may be an exception in that there are a lot of people on the streets running, whether it is hot, cold, raining, or probably somewhere snowing.

There are also stores that have exercise machines in the window with people, mostly young sweating, who are the farthest thing you can imagine from needing to exercise.

Be it as it may, I try.

The first thing I do in the morning is go to the bathroom. Not to exercise, but to urinate or whatever. Then I have my orange juice, after brushing my teeth. There is some exercise there but not very much.

Before breakfast, because I don't want to upset my stomach, I stretch my legs then my shoulders. I have seen Asian people in the park throwing their arms around, so I try that a couple of times. That hurts my shoulders and my elbows, so I stop that pretty quickly.

Getting out of a chair is kind of tough these days, so I do that two or three times. It seems rather silly, but getting out of a chair can be important.

Don't misunderstand me, I know this is vital. I have a couch, and getting out of it is not that easy, but I don't want to become a potato.

Walking is the key to health, so I don't take the car to go a few blocks. We have a lot of hills in San Francisco, so walking isn't a piece of cake. I do not eat cake.

Diet is not exercise.

You think I'm kidding, but I know this is serious.

I used to play tennis. I enjoyed this even when I lost, which was more often than most. I switched to golf, which is as you may know, a game where one good shot brings you back for another try.

Drinking is not exercise, but it is far more enjoyable and not too bad for you if you don't do it to excess. Exercise in excess can be dangerous for your body. Joggers can overdo it to the point of losing their breath. That doesn't seem too bright. Swimming requires showering and risking athlete's foot in the locker room.

There surely is a point to exercise, and far be it for me to deny it, but how do you measure moderation? There must be a way to exercise without dread.

I am looking for that way.

# # #