Thursday, January 29, 2009

Secret Thoughts of a Happy Husband

Forty random reflections of a man about matrimony, revealing exactly what he thinks about - mostly women.

Reprinted from McCall's
Copyright 2009 Elliott Joseph

February 2009

1. Marriage makes friends out of lovers and lovers out of strangers.
2. I never met a man who didn't respect a good cook.
3. A working wife is a gift from heaven.
4. No bachelor was ever happier than a happily married man.
5. Sleeping late is not harmful.
6. A shopping woman is a happy woman.
7. It takes only one to make a good marriage.
8. Fresh orange juice is the elixir of love.
9. There is no guilt in admiring a beautiful woman.
10. People who travel are easier to live with at home.
11.  Women are night people.
12. Only a fool would tell his wife everything.
13. It is humanly possible to have a good marriage.
14. Women love sales as men love heroics.
15. Don't hold your wife's friends against her.
16. Be first in bed whenever you can.
17. Sarcasm causes baldness.
18. Men should sleep near the telephone.
19. Never keep strict accounts.
20. A woman with taste is always beautiful.
21. Technique isn't everything.
22. Call your wife anything except "Mother."
23. Thank your wife after every meal.
24. Large twin beds are twice as good as any double bed.
25. Beware of the logical woman.
26. Nothing is more tangible to a woman than love.
27. Never talk about your wife.
28. Fat women are more fun.
29. Man will remain uncivilized as long as he has to share a bathroom.
30. Never try to relive your honeymoon.
31. Women regard war as their personal enemy.
32. Learn how to drive a nail into a wall, and a woman will stop at nothing to show her 
33. Women don't understand soft-boiled eggs.
34. A gentleman never refuses a lady.
35. Women are usually right for the wrong reasons.
36. Living for today builds memories for tomorrow.
37. Women who wear men's pajamas make good companions.
38. One woman is enough for a real man.
39. If you lose your wife, don't keep looking for her.
40. Never keep a diary.

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