Monday, February 23, 2009

More Secret Thoughts of a Happy Husband

A man's-eye view of the state of matrimony, with some of the unexpected things that make it work.

Reprinted from McCall's
Copyright 2009 Elliott Joseph

March 2009

1. Nothing can rival home life.
2. Being yourself is always best, no matter how painful.
3. It is safe to react honestly to returnable merchandise.
4. It is bad luck to go out of the house without your wedding band.
5. Women have to be wakened with extreme care.
6. If you've got to burn anything, make it your bridges.
7. Women are not always thinking when they are silent.
8. Nobody is best at everything.
9. A woman's cross is her head of hair.
10. Living with a woman is a little like working backstage.
11. Curlers are a necessary evil.
12. Money and love are not incompatible.
13. If a man knows what he wants, a woman won't have to tell him.
14, Think twice before asking a question.
15. Keep one closet all to yourself.
16. Never say "No" when you mean, "Wait a minute."
17. A little bit of jealousy goes a long way.
18. Men have muscles; women, patience.
19. Nobody likes an optimist in the morning.
20. Always announce whom you're talking to the moment you lift the phone.
21. Don't count your wife's shoes.
22. Kindness in the morning is repaid at night.
23. Husbands and wives are not brothers and sisters.
24. It's better to get wet than carry a woman's umbrella.
25. Women who have nothing to wear like to throw out men's things.
26. Strength thrives on tenderness.
27. Raise your voice once a month.
28. Never buy a gift out of guilt.
29. A wife is more important than any car.
30. Antiques are not secondhand furniture.
31. The way to a woman's heart is through the door of a good restaurant.
32. Avoid consistency.
33. Women don't expect miracles.
34. Never open each other's mail.
35. Kiss before breakfast.

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